Is it easier to be at peace and be well grounded when a person doesn’t have to worry about the basics? I get envious that there are those of you out there, who have it all wrapped up and figured out. You’ve done the work. You’re there. That’s when I start believing that wealth has afforded you the opportunity - in some cases maybe it has - but that should be of no consequences to me. I should be pleased you are there and I shouldn’t mentally connect the two, but I do.
I am able to be honest with myself, honest that I am basically lost and trying to scrape and claw my way up and out of this chaos. I have been under stress so long, literally years, that I don’t remember what a natural moment without stress feels like.
I am trying. As I have been trying for years. But he truth is I have not put in the effort, I have read about the effort, listened, and tried to learn. Now I have to “do.”
This is a sad post.
My dogs are waiting for me at home.
I am late.